Adult Angst

Why is life so difficult to be honest. They say life during your teens is filled with angst but at least people expect that. As an adult you're supposed to know exactly what we want and do it. I know what is best for me but when I do what is best it hurts other people. I feel bad in a way but not in another. In this case, the person being hurt is basically a good person but he is now feeling the pain he has caused others and he can't understand it. Sylvia went through it for years and always forgave him and took him back. His excuse his illness, he's normal needs, he couldn't say no. He changed and now he can't be that understanding person his ex-wife was. His broken heart is more important than I'm he felt hers was and more important than mine when I believed everything he said only to find it was not true. Or mine when I had no physical contact for years and spent most of my time walking on egg shells to not upset him. So why do I still feel guilty, feel bad, why do I want to keep him from feeling bad even though all I want to do is be honest but I have a hard time because I hate hurting anyone and him in particular.