Can someone be too nice?

I am questioning particularly in my life, is it possible that I have been too nice? When I was little I don't recall ever getting in trouble except when my mother would complain that I always had my nose in a book instead of keeping her company. I got detention once in high school because I had a migraine and the teacher wouldn't let me leave. The vice principal tore the detention slip up because I didn't deserve it. I always got along with everyone in my class. I sound like I think I was perfect. I wasn't. I was not normal. No one is always nice. I was nice to my brother even though he left me alone with a mentally ill mother at 9y.o. so I had to take care of both of us. I saw him and my father once when I was 15 and he had a wife and two kids that we ( my mother and I) never even knew about. I was angry and hurt but I was nice. I had no other contant from them until my mother died. When I found out my husband was cheating I was nice. I asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell me and he waid no and left. Then the husband of the other woman came and showed me pictures and letters. He wanted me to talk her out of it. I was calm and nice. She showed up with her kids sleeping in the car. I went down stairs and spoke to her like I would have spoken to a client. Calm, respectful, encouraged her to work on her own marriage because my family was going to stay together. She was wasting her time. I was nice and calm. Then I made sure I went everywhere with him that I knew she would be. Finally it worked and he went on to someone else but at least I didn't know her. Still I was nice. I still was a good wife. It went on like that for 10 years. I finally had enough and told him he would have to leave. I could no longer live that way. After knowing about the cheating it took me 3 years to get my self esteem up enough to find men that I would see. I didn't like living like that. So I told him to leave if couldn't change. But I was nice about it. I had just been promoted to VP and I got a raise to the beginning level for VP of Operations which was 48,000. The VP in the south of operations was already making 68,000. She had not been a VP and should have been at the same rate as me or raise mine so there wasn't such a discrepancy. Did I say anything? No, I didn't complain and I worked my ass off. She on the other hand didn't make it. But I still never earned what the other VP's did. The last year I began a new service line, wrote grants for it, trained people and became VP of Public Safety services as well as VP of Operations. With all that I made only 5,000 more. And still I worked my hardest and with heart because I believed in what I was doing. Was I nice? Yes. Everyone was afraid of our CEO so when things needed to be said I was the one elected to do it. Fortunately for me, he liked me and respected me so I could say what needed to be said and told him that of course the decision was his and I would follow his lead as best I could. I worked there 17 years. I learned a lot and I learned how not to lead and manage people. I was always nice trying to find win-win solutions. When I saw that was not possible I resigned but I did leave on good terms. And why not I was always nice. I was firm when I needed to be and fired so many people my nickname was the terminator. I just ended up having to clean up other peoples messes. It is hard to properly manage people but when you do you gain loyalty and respect. I had one woman I fired list me as a reference. I had older workers, young right out of school workers and foreigners that I hired and they were surprised. Older workers have good work ethics, young first job people you can train the right way right off the bat and as for the foreinger, she was well qualified and had the same accent as almost all our Doctors. I was fair and I was nice. I see no reason to not be. I was assertive when I needed to be but even then I was calm and respectful. So is there such a thing as too nice? I think the answer for me is yes. There were definitely times when without losing my temper I should have said what I really felt like no you can't have my husband you slut. Leave him alone or else. I should have said 48,000 is too low and I expect a more reasonable salary because of the situation. I was told I got ahead because I thought like a man. A man would have gotten more money. A man would have beat the crap out of the guy cheating with his wife. I did think later that I should have brought my gun down without the bulletts just to scare the crap out of her. I think being too nice is what made me physically ill and what stole my soul. When I moved to Tucson things were far from good but there is an energy here that nourishes me. And through all the unpleasantness I have gone through here I know that if I had been anywhere else I would not have made it. My soul and my spirit grow and develop here. I love it and I am going to make a real effort to not be so nice and understanding all the time. I am no longer going to ignore my needs.