Hump day

I had my sleep study done last night. It was the second one so they could tell how much 0-2 I need. I slept ok but I woke up with this heart shaped scar like thing on my forehead where some of the mask was I guess. That was the only thing that hurt. He is supposed to have what I need mailed to me I sure hope I don't end up with a permanent heart on my head! I am tired but not sleepy. I just finished reading lesson 6 of my on-line seminary course-Shamanism. So far it's about shamans from Siberia and China. I didn't know they had them so I guess I'm learning something new. I want to finish this course before I hit the dissertation again because I have already found information in the course that is relevant to my paper. But in reading this course it has also made me motivated to work on the Aromatherapy course while waiting to start the paper. I can work on two projects at once. I finished one of three of the aromatherapy books. So I can type at least one test and send it in. I really want to make use of my time in a valuable way. And even though I have not accomplished what I think I should have (one should never use the word should, it only serves to make us feel bad), yep it made me feel bad. I have spent alot of this time being introspective. I believe I have gained valuable insights that I would not have noticed had I not allowed myself time to just "be" without doing anything. As a woman (yes I'm being sexist but it's true), we multi-task our lives away. Even right now I bet if you are a woman reading this you are also doing something else-the laundry, cooking, watching the kids, or something else. Very rarely did I ever take the time to just "be". I would read, write, watch TV, listen to music, do house work, laundry, anything to keep from being still. Even this past year of being out of the hospital and not able to work I have found it difficult to be still. I read, study, write (like starting this blog), edit other things I've written, look for publishers, almost anything to avoid that stillness that we all need. I make an effort to do Reiki on myself in the morning before I get up for the day and at night I try to go to bed early enough to meditate and then do Reiki as I drift off to sleep. If I haven't said what Reiki is before let me briefly tell you about it. It is an ancient Japanese healing art. It means "universal life force energy". I am a Reiki Master Teacher. I used to do energy healing in my private practice and I taught Reiki. So I have used it on myself in the hospital and I continue to for help in repairing my body and my spirit. I believe that the positive energy of family and friends and my belief in Reiki has allowed me to not only survive, and heal but also has allowed me to gain insights, to learn from my experiences and not be angry or too depressed (I'm human and I've had my depressed times) but I know that without the faith I regained in Tucson I could not have endured this and come out of it better than I was before. At least I hope I'm better for the experience!