"Out with Old and In with the New"

We tend to be creatures of habit so as many of us do at the end of one year and the beginning of a new one I want say what I am thankful for and what I hope for.
I am thankful for being born into the family of origin I had. I believe that we choose what family to be born into who will help us learn the lessons we are supposed to learn in this lifetime. Yes, I believe in karma and reincarnation. I believe we are born with all the skills we need to learn the lessons we are sent to learn. The difference we make with our free will is to make the most positive choices we can in our life. I believe that is why it looks like some people make "it" whatever "it" is to you and why some people don't.
I am thankful for all the people who touched my life these past 55 years. Some people just touched me briefly and others have always been with me.
I am thankful for Jennifer my wonderful, strong, intelligent and beautiful daughter.
I am thankful for my two adorable young grandsons and I hope to see them turn into kind, happy, and healthy young men.
I am thankful for all the strong and compassionate women who I have had the privilege to know. I am thankful for those who are actively in my life now.
I am thankful for Lisa my oldest friend. She is always the same no matter how long its been since we talked and she is the person who can make cry the easiest.
I am thankful for Rena. She is the sister is wasn't born with but the one who is closer to me than any sibling could be. She has been there for me in thick and thin. She has looked out for me and helped me through some of my darkest times. We have also had a helluva lot of fun together. Looking back we never doubted our ourselves when we were together. At least that is how I remember it. One perfect example is one weekend camping we took a walk and for some unknown reason decided to walk across a train track of some kind over water. Knowing us we probably did it just to prove we could. Well, she didn't like heights and I didn't like water. So as we walked across this track we held on to each other tighter and tighter. We made it across together. We came back a different way.
Thinking about all our adventures makes me smile. In fact, thinking of all the events in my life that can be thought of as an adventure, I smile. An adventure to me is something that teaches me something about myself, or the world.
I am thankful for Elizabeth. She has been many different people to me. When we worked together we often thought of each other as "office spouse" because we looked out for each other better than any partner ever did. She is younger than me but not really enough for me to be her mother and not young enough to be my daughter. She has been ther for me through many difficult times.
We have had a lot of fun together. I smile when I think of the adventures we have had.
I am thankful for Christina and Mayra.
I am thankful that I lost the ability to walk and that I have regained that ability.
Christina and Mayra are two wonderful young ladies who are going to be nurses and have taken care of me since July 09 when I was released from the hospital.
I owe them so much. They gave me what I needed to keep going, to keep pushing myself and know that they wouldn't let me fail or fall. They have become part of my family and I have been graced to be part of theirs. I hope that in 2011 my daughter and my sister can meet my family in Tucson, Elizabeth, Mayra and Christina.
I am thankful for learning so many things the past two years about myself, life and love.
It seems funny to be 55 and feel like you are just getting started again.
I am listening to" Like A Rolling Stone" by Bob Dylan and the last line hit me as so true for me right. I am learning to be all on my own but with support of the most fantastic group of women you could ever imagine.
It paralells what I have endured physically. I am able to stand physically on my own and finally emotionally to stand on my own as well. But I am able to accept the support of those who care about me without feeling weak. Sometimes I can even ask for help.
I am thankful for all the healthcare professionals who have treated me and cared for me these past two years. Doctors who took a chance and operated on me when they weren't even sure if I would survive the infection in my body, and who fixed my back so I could heal. I am thankful for all the nurses, techs and physical/ocuptational therapists that got me out of bed and into a wheelchair. And then got me home and healing.
I am even thankful for those who didn't think I would walk and told me because I love nothing more than a challenge. One of my life rules is that success is the best revenge and while this wasn't revenge I did want to prove them wrong. Fortunately, I had many more people telling me I would walk again.
I am thankful for growing up in New England and knowing the magic of city life. I am thankful for learning early that the mountains and deserts were magic as well. I have found my home in a little City with no skyscrapers but with a beautiful and magical desert surrounded by mountains. Tucson is my city. When I arrived in Tucson the song playing on the radio was "Funkytown". I am very much into the music of my life and that song let me know that this was the right place for me.
I want to thank Davena. One of the first women I met here who have helped me change my life. She has moved and is in Oregon now but I still feel as close to her as if she were right. She helped me get in touch the spiritual self that I lost as teenager. I learned you can be spiritual without being religious and that believing in yourself is believing in Divine Love that lives in each of us.
I am thankful for being born when I was. I was born in 1955 and that was the year Allan Freed coined the term "Rock and Roll". I don't know what I would have done with the music of those early years. The music made me happy, it made me feel understood and sometimes it made me cry. It did what I needed. It kept me from feeling alone.
This will sound silly to some people but I am thankful for being the right age to have really enjoyed the disco era. I absolutely love to dance. Dancing has always been a form of therapy for me. A world I could be in feeling free, strong and happy. I have said along that I would dance again and this is New Years Eve and while I am going to be home I plan on dancing a little in the living room!
Good day for now. I may be back before tomorrow.